I'm good. Still living a very solo fetish life while being married to my lovely vanilla wife. Nothing much has changed in the last year for me, but would love to hear if it has for you.
I want to get a scene but I've finished to a scene I've bought on this site exactly once since I started dating my girlfriend almost two years ago and that was by accident so I'm not sure if it would be worth it.
Girlfriend and I are dogsitting this weekend and they A) have a pool, B) don't have a camera, and C) don't have neighbors so she's down to get in the pool in a maxi dress and swim for a bit for me so I can get a video. It's supposed to rain so I'm tempted to ask if she can get it muddy too but don't want to overdo things especially since it's a dress she likes to wear out.
Had a partner dump me via text on my birthday. One of the few people I felt open enough to share my kinks with. They said there was something wrong with me, but refused to elaborate.
So, being scared that I had done something so terrible that they were afraid to tell me, and scared I might hurt someone else and have no idea I was doing it (I've been abused before, and was terrified I was unknowingly abusive), I tried to "self-uninstall" as the filter-dodgers say.
That was mid-May. I'm still having really bad days.
Myu and Potatoman, I hope you've considered finding some form of mental health care. Suicidality of any degree is a sign of real suffering, and it's important to know that there are people out there who can help you live without having to suffer like that. (And I've seen both sides of it myself, so I know whereof I speak.)
larryniven said: Myu and Potatoman, I hope you've considered finding some form of mental health care. Suicidality of any degree is a sign of real suffering, and it's important to know that there are people out there who can help you live without having to suffer like that. (And I've seen both sides of it myself, so I know whereof I speak.)
I have been. I've had to for years, and have to semi-regularly restart because insurance changes, or therapists move... it's a bit of a nightmare. But no... mostly I just don't want to hurt anyone. Especially inadvertently. So... [shrug] pick up the pieces again I guess.
2022 was a bad year for me. I lost my dad to cancer & my bestfriend. I am now my grans carer now that dad has sadly passed, i work full time & also enjoy my WAM. I've had a rough couple of months mentally as I battle my grief and demons but coming public & sharing my messy journey has given me an escape, love & new friends that I will forever be greatful for. I've learnt lately also that not everyone is nice or can be happy for your highs or that jealousy is a terrible trait to have, I've also learnt to concentrate & control the things you can & forget people and things that you can't and also that my heart is too vulnerable to allow jealousy & negativity & to remain above it & remove myself where possible. I am truly grateful to people who support me & love me on my personal & messy journey So here's to a better 2023 for allot of us & one full of love & positivity. X
Thanks for sharing. This life thing is tough. Being able to talk about it on here InfernoMyo and Potatoman shows some strength and resilience. I hope in time things get better for you and that it lasts
bsmessybakery, I'm glad 2023 is looking better. It is indeed a good thing to be able to share our passions.
Heheh money won't bring up full happiness, but it definitely brings freedom which brings happiness I agree. But hey we are here and breathing and that's allot richer than some so we just have to pick ourself up and keep going at times. We've got this x
We all have good and bad periods in life. Overall, mines not been great for a while, basically since I married the wrong woman! We're still together, but don't get on, we have stayed together really for the sake of my son, who's now 17, so I can't see us having to tough it out much longer. He's a great son, the only good thing really which came out of it. BTW, he's adopted, wife's cousin was a single parent already had 4 kids and found she was pregnant again, was going to have an abortion but backed out and asked if we would take him.
As you can probably guess, all my WAM and 99% of anything sexual have been, er, away fixtures!
Money has been an issue recently as I got made redundant five years ago and was out of work for two years, before having to settle for a minimum wage van driving job.
Anyhow, if I am feeling a bit cheesed off I retreat into my comfort zone of the late 70s, when I was a happy and carefree teenager, by listening to my 1975-80 music downloads and watching some 70s TV on YouTube, my land of lost content, as A E Housman put it.
I've done other stuff to help me through, watching, and sometimes playing, football and cricket, and I spent three years renovating an old car in my garage, a 1969 Mark 2 Cortina. I hadn't long finished it and got it on the road, when I lost my job and had to sell it. Don't life suck!!
Still, to quote one of my TV heroes, Norman Stanley Fletcher, from Porridge "Don't let the bastards grind you down!!'
Oh and Bri, you make the day something special too, you have a lot of love and support on here, from me and lots of others
Yeah, I'm not at that point, I haven't been since like 2017. I'm medicated, but I'm definitely depressed and I feel like years just keep going by and I can't make the progress in life I want. I'm soul crushingly alone, friends and family are basically all gone, dating has been impossible.
@InfernoMyu Yep, that's what ultimately kept me from doing it too
At my worst, I wanted out because I was in agonizing physical pain. But I stuck around, because I didn't want to put family through the emotional pain.
@bsmessybakery That's a LOT...and all at once. I'm so sorry. Not just your dad, but your best friend too. Cancer was one of my battles (the aforementioned 2017 when I wanted out), and awful is an understatement.
Agree on the money bit too. It can't buy happiness, but it can buy opportunities, and freedom. It can get you out of the wage cage and allow you to pursue the things in life that give you meaning; instead of trading your life hour by hour for a paycheck.
@mrangry There are a lot of people here that feel trapped in relationship that are missing things. It's one thing when a partner isn't into it. Quite another when they attack or belittle you for your wants and desires.
@Sploshman Bro, I'm so sorry. You've had a heck of a year too. This is the first I heard about your dad. I know you were planning on getting away and skipping the pond over here again. I still hope you can, I missed you in Vegas.
Yeah, I'm not at that point, I haven't been since like 2017. I'm medicated, but I'm definitely depressed and I feel like years just keep going by and I can't make the progress in life I want. I'm soul crushingly alone, friends and family are basically all gone, dating has been impossible.
@InfernoMyu Yep, that's what ultimately kept me from doing it too
At my worst, I wanted out because I was in agonizing physical pain. But I stuck around, because I didn't want to put family through the emotional pain.
@bsmessybakery That's a LOT...and all at once. I'm so sorry. Not just your dad, but your best friend too. Cancer was one of my battles (the aforementioned 2017 when I wanted out), and awful is an understatement.
Agree on the money bit too. It can't buy happiness, but it can buy opportunities, and freedom. It can get you out of the wage cage and allow you to pursue the things in life that give you meaning; instead of trading your life hour by hour for a paycheck.
@mrangry There are a lot of people here that feel trapped in relationship that are missing things. It's one thing when a partner isn't into it. Quite another when they attack or belittle you for your wants and desires.
@Sploshman Bro, I'm so sorry. You've had a heck of a year too. This is the first I heard about your dad. I know you were planning on getting away and skipping the pond over here again. I still hope you can, I missed you in Vegas.
Appreciated Potatoman dude and yes. It has been a very strange year for me too.
Seems like any year that ends in 3 always has some kind of madness to it starting with Mum's passing in 2003 and also something that happened in 2013 that you know about Potatoman mate (but I won't say on here).
I had hell to get Dad to A&E last week and had to get a Uber to take him in the end as if I left it to the NHS. He would be dead now!!.
Found out he has diabetes (which I never knew about as he never goes hospital, doctors or take meds). And that he has sepsis in the left leg too which he said was pain in the heal at first
He's doing fine now....but needs carers to be honest as I did try to sort out his house and that was where I actually was broken as the place is awful.
I'm his only child, but my cousins have been helping which is good as I couldn't do it by myself.
As for me personally. I'm down about Dad.
Minus that. I'm fine and with me being made redundant it does give me time to help and support Dad now (that's all I'm focused on)
I'm taking the rest of the year off to sort myself out mentally as it's been long overdue and then gonna look for a new job in the new year.
That's been the plan since I heard about redundancy a few months back and I'm sticking to it.
I'm still gonna come over to the US Potatoman mate (and missed you guys in Vegas too this year )
Just once Dad is better and his situation is sorted